i don't understand what you're trying to do OLD SCHOOLMATE but honestly what's your frigging problem? i thought sec sch's over so BE OVER WITH IT LA. can't you frigging start a new chapter?

or do you still keep grudges on me?

goodness sake, if you want me to realise my mistake FUCK ME STRAIGHT INTO MY FACE. why should you waste time tryna hide yourself and play this childish games.

can't believe that YOU'RE SO DUMB.

the school teach you to be SMART, not STUPID!

dear mr/ms unknown,

i don't the slightest clue to your identity and i don't know what relations you have with fai. but it seems that you have been visiting my blog for quite some time and also that you know me well enough to criticise me that bad in the past. i also have no clue why are you telling me that information after so long.

i guess you mean to hurt me, and yes, i was hurt. happy?!

it doesn't mean that if he's in the past, i am over him. well i'm not.

if you think that you're human enough, do me this favour. congratulate him for me, please. i know that you can NOT help me but at least please do this favour for me. neither you or he cares but just this once. help me.

well these days it has always been YOU in my mind. *polluting my mind with the thoughts of being with you*

now iam being MYSELF. no one else!

well people! I AM UPDATING! sorry for the oh-so-long-already-have-spider-webs unUPDATING! lots have been happening these days, especially the one that you guys can see in my tagboard.

haha! okay i'm in the middle of doing my presentation. will update details soon.

HOLD ON!! my currnt favourite song : KEEP HOLDING ON by Avril Lavigne

You're not alone
together we stand
i'll be by your side
you know i'll take your hand
when it gets cold
and it feels like the end
theres no place to go you know i wont give in
no i wont give in.

Chorus :

Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through,
we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through,
we'll make it through.

So far away i wish you were here
before it's too late this could all disapear
before the doors close, this comes to an end
but with you by my side i will fight a
nd defend i'll fight and defend yeah yeah.

Hear me when i say, when i say
i believe nothings gonna change,
nothings gonna change destiny
what ever is ment to be
will work out perfectly

it's finally over. 9 months and 2 days later. it all ended. no more point of return or regret. i was disturbed by the incident initially but after i spent the rest of my day bowling and with my bestfriend and her CRAZY BELO ASS neighbour, i felt okay. i can actually say that i am glad he initiated the break-up because it would take me ages to say it out. i fear break-ups and rejection. i am not crying anymore. i am SINGLE. 081206

it went on beautifully in the beginning. knowing each other through friends whose existance are not known now. on Valentine's to be exact. He gave me a card. it WAS sweet of him. but that was just the beginning. in the later part, after he got back it all felt different. maybe because part of me just gave up. know i felt no chemistry because he changed. i no more feel good with him. while he was away, i cried buckets. my friends really knew i was in LOVE. but that was before 'cause it lasted for awhile. i tried to relive good memories by writing small love notes but i get nothing in return.

now as i listen to a sad love song, i felt no pain. just sad taht it's finally over. i thought this relationship could last but it didn't. better stop loving and start chilling.

To Faizal,
i am sorry for saying "i love you" for so many times when i know it was not there anymore. i am sorry f i really hurt you so much though i know i'm hurting too. i just want you to know that i have moved on. i want to know that i missed the old you. i am still keeping our memories. do take care and evaluate yourself before falling in love again. IF you ever gonna fall in love again.

To NENEPOMS,
you guys have been the most supporting HOMO SAPIANS on Earth throughout this ordeal i'm going through. you guys really cheered me up when i needed some cheering up. thank you guys! love korang.

To .naz,
Girl it had never been easy for me. yet you have been there over and over again. making me realise that it's my fault too. thank you Nazirah. thank you so much.

i am still writing though my hand hurt.

I SUDDENLY REALISE SOMETHING. it started when i was ill. it also ended when i am ill too.

has love been so boring for me lately? or is it just him? i don't know why i just get so turned off with him. i got into 2 heartbreaks. just too painful. and now HIM. love was never so loving after all.

sweetheart wasn't so sweet after all.

i am frigging tired of being in love.

spare me a knife someone so i can cut my wrist.




at least i have something to do.

have i really changed? or is it that i am just being turned away? why do i feel as if i am isolated? people keep asking me why do i act strangly when i am with them? don't ou think i am the way i am because of you guys? no i don't sluk about it but really i am what i am now because of you guys. okay maybe you guys still have me as friend but even if you are going to put me as an enemy i won't mind. i went through this throughout secondary school. i am quite neutral with the situation because i can never do anything to force you guys to do whatever you guys want to do.

i feel impish.

WHATEVER!


to nazirah. well life has to go on. honey, you are very strong. just do not fall back. i love you honey.